Why is my blog named Sandpaper and Velvet? :)

I once read a devotion that I am certain was written specifically for me! I had never had a devotion hit my heart so hard. It spoke directly to a need I had felt for many years and gave me an avenue to reach out to other women. Often we miss the opportunity to be thankful for times in our lives when we weren't quite able to be jumping for joy. Even today I am working on the idea of feeling entitled to be happy instead of accepting all the people and situations that God places in my life. It was the devotion about two very different types of friends that enabled me to be thankful for sandpaper and velvet.

Let me begin by saying that I have a truly AWESOME husband. He is the best friend a girl could ask for and loves me passionately and unconditionally. He encourages me and keeps me grounded. We laugh together and we annoy each other at times, but I know that's ok cause it won't change how he loves me. I also have 6 children who truly fill me up and provide me with unexplainable joy. Sounds pretty good, right? Well, it is! But, many years ago, despite my husband and my kids (a few less than we have now lol), I was feeling pretty bad for myself. I was missing something that can be so important to women, friends. I had experienced years of searching and praying for a strong friendship and looked around every nook and cranny, but could not find her!

At one point I settled for sandpaper friends, the kind of friends that often take and hurt you more than support and love you for you. I accepted that I was only good enough for such friendships and not a desirable true friend. I felt like an island in every group of women I was around. Looking back now I can see that I nurtured those thoughts and feelings and dismissed opportunities that God placed in my life for better because of the fear of being hurt even more. Crazy, huh? I was praying on a daily basis for that connection with another true friend, but not once was I prepared to put myself out there in a vulnerable way to accept that blessing. And so it went, until I changed my way of thinking. I finally decided that when people invited me to do something, I was going to accept. I had for so long believed that if women asked me to join in on anything it was because they were being polite. I was sure that it wasn't that I was truly welcomed. It was me that was surrounding myself with sandpaper, and loneliness. And lonely I truly was!

But then I said for one year I would accept every invite as long as my schedule allowed it. I figured once ladies saw that I would say yes that they would stop asking me, but that wasn't the case. Immediately (no exaggeration), God surrounded me with velvet women....they were EVERYWHERE! lol I'm sure you know what I mean when I refer to velvet friends. Think about what velvet means to you. Right away I think soft, warm, comforting, aspects that make a great friend! My velvet friends are such true friends! I treasure each of them and their differences. I love that I am afforded to opportunity to know and love them. I am constantly learning from all the women in my life and continue to try to be the kind of woman that can encourage them and be a velvet friend for them. I know that despite my many faults (embarrassingly too many! lol) I have something to give to others and have only learned this because of all the velvet ladies in my life!

I am so thankful that God sent me on this path of sandpaper and velvet. He allowed me to grow as a wife, mother, friend and His child. It truly transformed me. Don't get me wrong, I continue to strive to be a better friend. I believe that we can all treat others better, be stronger in our commitment to helping those when we see a need and simply work on putting ourselves out there to connect with others. But without this path that God has allowed me to experience, I would not have the strong relationships I have today, nor would I have the confidence to reach out to others. I am no longer lonely, no longer an island among my peers. I am me and that's ok. My prayer now is that I am able to be soft, warm, comforting and vulnerable to the women that I come in contact with on a daily basis. So tell me, are you sandpaper, hard, abrasive, hurtful if there is too much contact or are you warm, comforting, gentle? We can all be both at some point, but which will you be remembered for? Embrace your sandpaper and velvet friends, we can certainly learn from both. And remember, the more velvet we each are to one another the greater the chance we could soften some sandpaper!
Hebrews 3:13 "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called 'Today,' so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness!"           ~~~~Bran :)